Matters of the Heart

This post will be somewhat personal, but I hope it stimulates thought or appreciation for what a marvel the human body, and specifically, the human heart is.  I was finally able to go and see the Body Worlds 3 exhibit at The Leonardo on Saturday and I am so, so, SO glad that I went.  Experiences like the one I had inside the exhibit remind me of why I wanted to be a doctor for so many years.  I am fascinated by human anatomy and physiology.  Seeing the plastinates of human bodies in different positions and cross sections was incredible.  I see ballerinas differently now, as well as ice-skaters, skiers, archers, someone kneeling in prayer, and many others - I see how they function underneath the skin.  The synergists and the antagonists working together to make movement and posture possible.  This exhibition is specifically focused on the heart and all that goes along with it - the respiratory and circulatory systems that fuel our bodies.  Here are some general quotes scattered throughout the exhibit regarding the heart which I thought were pretty cool:

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye."  -Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing."  -Blaise Pascal

"We were not sent into this world to do anything into which we cannot put our hearts."  

-John Ruskin

"The brain with its cool logic, and the heart with its volatility, act alone as well as in concert - juxtaposed to make up our essential selves.  But the heart alone is viewed as the vessel of love and malice, compassion and cruelty, good and evil."

There was a section of the exhibition that was dedicated to heart transplants and the technology involved in creating artificial hearts.  This section had a profound influence on me, and I can't imagine what my dad was thinking and feeling as he passed through this portion of the exhibit.  I was sitting on the floor leaning against the wall post writing some thoughts down, while at the same time, listening to the background "lub-dub" sounds that resonate throughout the entire exhibit.  Thoughts of my dad's heart attack episode of 2007 flooded my mind and heart.  I really think the heart is as much a receptacle of memory as the brain.  The latter pulls up images and facts, but the heart recounts the feelings.  They were as real yesterday as they were in January-June of 2007, but time has worked its magic.  It has allowed that terrible habit I have of taking things for granted to creep into my everyday life.  I realized once again how blessed I am to still have one of my best friends with me, which I must not take for granted.  I wanted to share this letter that was included on the wall display in the exhibit because I thought it was very touching, and part of the Irvine reality these days:

"Cordially yours,

Here I am.  My thoughts are occupied with you, because your heart beats in me.  I don't know you.  I don't know what your loved ones were thinking when they had to let you go.  I don't know what kind of person you were but I carry you with me, nonetheless.  Your heart beats for me now, for my family, for my friends.  I don't know what happened to you.  But I know how my loved ones suffered with me, how I was on the edge of losing all courage, sometimes.  I know that everything is all right now.  And therefore, I know that it is not important what happened to you but what happened because of you.

Here I am.  I am writing these lines to a person whom I don't know but who has become so important to me.  I can once again breathe freely, I feel, experience life differently.  I have strength in me again.  I can work, enjoy life, laugh, look ahead into the future, and build a family.  For all those doors that were reopened for me, I thank you and your loved ones who made the difficult decision to save lives through you.  Everyone wants to look back at their lives and realize that they have left a trace.  I am your trace.  Thank you!" - heart transplant recipient, June 6th, 2007

It really is overwhelming for me to consider the details of my dad's heart transplant.  Unlike this recipient who didn't know the identity of his donor, we do.  His picture hangs on our wall downstairs next to one of my dad.  He is a part of our family now.  How grateful I am for modern technology, for miracle doctors like Dr. Reid and Dr. Kfoury, and especially for the resiliency of the human spirit and the amazing healing process that our bodies can undergo.  It is awesome in the literal sense.

I don't pretend to understand all matters of the heart - physically, spiritually, metaphorically, emotionally, every other "ally" that can be connected with this amazing organ, but I know it is central to our being.  The first organ formed in the womb and the last to function before death, the heart is so much more than a muscle.  Everyday I hope to recognize the great blessings that come from the amazing gift of a healthy human body and a beating heart!!!